Holidays are always stressful and even more so within a blended family. I am here to tell you that it doesn’t have to be that way!  December 25th is literally, just another day on the calendar in my opinion. CHRISTMAS ( and birthdays and any holiday in general) is whichever day you choose with your loved ones to celebrate it.

I remember my first Christmas without my kiddos. It was terrible. I was still stuck on “the way things used to be”.  I was drowning in my loneliness and throwing a huge pity party for myself.

I knew I had to change my perspective. I knew this wasn’t how “Christmas” was supposed to feel so I decided to re-write my Christmas story.

I started by figuring out what exactly was important to me on these special occasions?  Was it spending time together? Was it sharing a great meal and making memories with the people I love most? Yes! That is what I wanted most of all.

Did it have anything to do with the date on the calendar?

Huh. No. It was just a date. Just like any other number on the calendar.  Why had I focused so much on a number when all of the things that were important to me could be done on ANY day of the year?  Why would I let a silly number cause me so much heartache, stress and worry?

Gipford Moms Quote

I finally realized i was so much more peaceful and less stressful when I detached myself from the assigned meaning I had placed on a date.  In all reality, Santa can visit our home any day. He is magical, am I right? I can watch my child blow out birthday candles and exchange birthday gifts on any day… right?  The Easter bunny can come on Friday. The tooth fairy can visit twice!  

I didn’t want to feel that stress anymore.  I didn’t want my fellow co-parents to be stressed out over scheduling. I didn’t want my children to feel torn or have to choose between all the people who love them. In my opinion, the easiest solution for everyone involved was simply myself choosing a different date on the calendar. 

Finally, I realized that it no longer mattered  what day the calendar reads. I care that we can all be together, even if that means Christmas in January!

There is no holiday rule book so I decided to write my own. Maybe it’s time to re-write yours?

If you’d like to learn more about my co-parenting journey, please check out our new book.

(Step)Mom: A Dual Memoir written by Erin Gipford and Tina Gipford from Ellsworth, WI.
In (Step)Mom: A Dual Memoir, I partner with the stepmother of my children, Tina Gipford, to share a raw, funny, sometimes-awkward, and hopefully inspiring look inside the crazy world of “co-parenting.” 

Get a free excerpt of our book (Step)Mom: A Dual Memoir

 

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