Holidays are always stressful and even more so within a blended family. I am here to tell you that it doesn’t have to be that way! December 25th is literally, just another day on the calendar in my opinion. CHRISTMAS ( and birthdays and any holiday in general) is whichever day you choose with your loved ones to celebrate it.
I remember my first Christmas without my kiddos. It was terrible. I was still stuck on “the way things used to be”. I was drowning in my loneliness and throwing a huge pity party for myself.
I knew I had to change my perspective. I knew this wasn’t how “Christmas” was supposed to feel so I decided to re-write my Christmas story.
I started by figuring out what exactly was important to me on these special occasions? Was it spending time together? Was it sharing a great meal and making memories with the people I love most? Yes! That is what I wanted most of all.
Did it have anything to do with the date on the calendar?
Huh. No. It was just a date. Just like any other number on the calendar. Why had I focused so much on a number when all of the things that were important to me could be done on ANY day of the year? Why would I let a silly number cause me so much heartache, stress and worry?
I finally realized i was so much more peaceful and less stressful when I detached myself from the assigned meaning I had placed on a date. In all reality, Santa can visit our home any day. He is magical, am I right? I can watch my child blow out birthday candles and exchange birthday gifts on any day… right? The Easter bunny can come on Friday. The tooth fairy can visit twice!
I didn’t want to feel that stress anymore. I didn’t want my fellow co-parents to be stressed out over scheduling. I didn’t want my children to feel torn or have to choose between all the people who love them. In my opinion, the easiest solution for everyone involved was simply myself choosing a different date on the calendar.
Finally, I realized that it no longer mattered what day the calendar reads. I care that we can all be together, even if that means Christmas in January!
There is no holiday rule book so I decided to write my own. Maybe it’s time to re-write yours?
If you’d like to learn more about my co-parenting journey, please check out our new book.
